New Year New Goals

  In my last post I mentioned a new adventure I'm dragging my husband on. Well, as long I've had kids I've been torn between work & staying home. I would love to only work part time, but with 3 kids & daycare that could just never happen. The other day I got to thinking we should really work on a goal that would result in me being able to stay home with the kids. We would love the kids to be home schooled and get a little more personalized education. So after sitting down & doing the math we came up with a plan and we hope to be there in 12-18 months. Our first goal is to save 4 months worth of expenses (not counting my husbands 401k & retirement). That is the primary goal. Once we reach that goal we will then go 3 whole months saving my entire paycheck. This serves 2 purposes, one to see if we can survive without it, but also to put a little more money back. Another part of the plan is between now & then for me to work on making a small income from home to help cushion the blow a little bit (I have a plan on how to do this also, but it will take awhile to get there & I'll share that a little later). We currently own our cars outright & do not have notes on either one. We also don't have any credit card debt, which helps! We do have student loans but that is about it as far as debt goes besides our mortgage. My promise to YOU (hopefully to make me more accountable also), is to post our savings progress on the first of every month! I am not going to give exact dollar figures but you can see the percentage we have saved towards our goal on the upper right corner of the blog, there is a little savings meter! We had a little money set back already, so as you can see we are at 38.5%! Our plan is to just really cut back & try to think of all the good things we can do once I stay home! (the picture above is our son Tuck & our dog Bella).

Ten Years!

      Today me & my wonderful husband have been married for 10 years! It is so hard to believe how fast 10 years has gone by. It seems like yesterday we were 20 & 21 getting married. Looking back I don't think either of us realized how much work it would be. But, I do think we both were willing to do ANYTHING it took to make it work & that's the reason we got married. We had realistic expectations of each other and our marriage. We basically grew up together and it hasn't always been easy. We fight & bicker like you can't believe. If you know us in real life maybe you CAN believe it, because chances are you have seen it. We don't hold a grudge against each other & we always just fight it out right where we are! We usually get over it in about 10 minutes and feel much better. I don't want to be one of those couples that acts all perfect and fake all the time. I think those people are headed for trouble. How exhausting must it be to always feel the need to put on a perfect front! I want our kids to see us have a real marriage, with real fights, real bumps and real LOVE. I want them to see it is work, but it is worth it. I don't want any of my kids to go into marriage thinking its just a fairy tale & a wedding. I can't even begin to imagine where I would be without Chris. He has always believed in me and my dreams. He always supports my crazy ideas & dreams and trusts me (stayed tuned for more on the NEWEST adventure I am dragging him into). Even when we have failed he has always been there to pick me back up and help me keep going without throwing it in my face. Everything I lack as a parent he is. I'm tough and strict, he's soft and playful. I'm a planner and a control freak, he is free spirited and doesn't care if I plan everything down to the last detail! I'm messy and a horrible cleaner, he can put on headphones and clean the house in an hour. He is such an amazing father to our kids and I could never ask for more. He will usually get out of bed at night when they cry before I can wake up. He changes diapers, kisses owies and wipes noses better than most mothers. He can juggle 3 kids at a doctors office, make lunches while doing hair, and cook dinner while doing laundry without blinking. He starts the coffee pot for me in the morning even if he has been up and down all night with one of the kids. He still makes me laugh until I sound like a truck driver and always knows how to make smile and how to piss me off! Its been a roller coaster, but has been so worth it!

Dr.Temple Grandin & Park Fun

So things have been very chaotic lately! A few new things are going on. The girls are now coming with me to work as we have an onsite daycare at my job & they finally had openings to fit the girls in, we had been waiting a few months. It has been a HUGE help & time saver. Not to mention its nice to be able to check in on them & see them throughout the day. We also recently switched Tucker's daycare, this is also the daycare where the girls used to go. We discovered that about 5-6 months ago the LaPetite Academy that he had been attending illegally published photos of him as well as both girls on their website. They not only didn't have a legal release, they had EXPLICIT instructions to NEVER publish the girls names or photos. It took 2 phone calls & 3 nasty emails threatening legal action before they removed the photos. Even then I only got the run around as to why it wasn't their fault. The worst part is for a year even we didn't publish photos of the girls on our Facebook pages, blogs, etc. I felt like it was such a slap in the face from a company that was supposed to protect our children, instead they put them in harms way. In happier news the baby has a new found love of the swing! See the video above. She laughs like that the entire time she swings. I also went yesterday & saw Dr.Temple Grandin speak at an event near me. If you aren't very familiar with her you can always watch the movie named after her, but basically she is an autistic woman that went on to invent a cattle sorting system used by half of handlers in the US. She has won many awards including from PETA for her work in the ethical treatment of animals. Working with kids with autism everyday it can be very hard sometimes to understand what they are going through. Dr.Grandin has an amazing way of breaking things down & describing things that make it a little easier to see things from their perspective. After the speech she did a book signing. I waited in line over an hour to get a book signed.

 She was very nice & JUST like the movie. The part that made me laugh is she was talking to me the whole time, she wouldn't even stop when they tried to take this photo. It was really exciting to meet someone that has overcome so much and opened so many people's eyes. She is really a true testament to how misunderstood people with autism are. She may be awkward in situations, or can't pick up social cues, but she is brilliant and is in no way "handicapped", or less than what we view as typical. I think she has taught so many people a lesson on acceptance and tolerance and I find her very inspiring.

Fun Times!

I recently bought us a family membership to the zoo. The kids love to go, we can use it during the spring before the water park opens and best of all, you can bring in FOOD! I hate places (like the water park) that don't allow you to bring in food or drinks. The food they serve is pure slop and I don't like feeding it to my kids. The food is also usually CRAZY overpriced also. We took the girls to the zoo the week after we brought them home, the baby was too young to enjoy it & to be honest I think Everly was still in a trance. She didn't really enjoy herself. This time all three of them had SO much fun. We got there before lunch and saw a few exhibits then we grabbed a picnic table and had lunch outside. The weather was really beautiful and it was a great way to spend a Sunday!

 

We also had a VERY unpleasant experience with my sons school this week. I won't list it by name, even though I would LOVE to, for his privacy. My son gets picked up by his daycare everyday except Mondays, when the school bus brings him home because my husband is off on Monday. Well when the daycare got there to pick him up on Tuesday it appears they had accidentally sent him home on the school bus, to come to our home, which was EMPTY since we were at work. To make it even worse the school NEVER caught their mistake. The daycare worker asked where Tuck was & the teacher told her that he took the bus home, not to worry. The daycare worker told her we hadn't called the daycare, he should be there & the teacher told her " Tuck rides the school bus home on Mondays", that's when the daycare employee informed her it was TUESDAY. By that point he was already almost home. The teacher called to tell my husband, "oh are you home, I put Tucker on the bus". We were both at work over 30 minutes away, thank God my husband was able to get a hold of a neighbor who went outside & got him until we could get there. The scary part isn't the mistake, its the fact that had the daycare not pressed & questioned where he was, the school wouldn't have caught their mistake & called us. Our son would have been locked outside alone for 3-4 hours. I wouldn't have known until I got to his daycare to pick him up! Can you imagine the feeling of a daycare telling you your child isn't there, the school is already closed by that point, so we would have been out searching for him. The bus stop is a block away, and one house over is a registered sex offender. Before you say it, YES they can live that close to a bus stop as long as they aren't on probation or "high risk". It was terrifying and I was LIVID. I was at the school the next morning when they opened. Turns out his teacher didn't even tell the principal or report her mistake. That made me even more upset. It is basically a parents worst nightmare. I will also be filing a complaint with the school district as well. We have talked with him about what to do should this ever happen again and have put safeguards in place as well, to ensure he be safe!

Everly Turns Three!

Sorry its been so long since I posted, I did really well there for awhile posting weekly! Things have been so crazy, Everly had her birthday last weekend and then I started back to school today.  Everly had a Lalaloopsy birthday party and it was over the top! The picture above is her sitting in the gift table in our dining room. No that is not a backdrop... here's a wide shot, she's sitting on the table on the left!

Everly had lots of fun and I pretty much spent my whole Christmas break from school making decorations and stuff for the party. I made her bow & her skirt to match a shirt I had made by https://www.facebook.com/shopthelionandtheunicorn . I just asked if she had anything in Lalaloopsy & she was able to find this cute pattern & even added Ever's name.

I was lucky enough to find just a few party supplies that were Lalaloopsy! Everything else I pretty much pieced together and made. It was totally worth it for her very first Birthday party. We have recently been in contact with a member of the girls' bio family and it was confirmed she never had a party. I really hope she remembers this party & how much we love her!

That brings up that last part I slipped right in. Yes, we have been in contact with a member of their bio family. Just saying that makes my heart skip a beat. We have been so careful to keep their new lives anonymous from them and to make sure their bio family wasn't able to "trace" them back. I made the decision to contact a family member that had advocated for the girls, but ultimately decided they were unable to keep them. I used an anonymous email address & we have exchanged photos. I haven't told them the girls' new names, or even my name. I did ask them to please not share anything we tell or give them with anyone else, as the girls' safety is our first priority and they agreed. They haven't been in contact with the girl's bio parents in awhile and have distanced themselves from the sickness that troubles them. The only thing we asked in return was for them to let us know if they had another child come into custody. Well, no sooner did I ask that than they emailed me to tell me they had recently found out the girl's bio mother was pregnant again. She told them the baby didn't make it, but I have my doubts. They said since then their mom has disappeared and hasn't been in contact with them. This isn't a good sign, to me it indicates she is trying to hide the fact that she is pregnant because she wants to keep the baby. She is still using drugs and the baby will test positive when born, and will immediately be brought into custody. I just pray she isn't pregnant, and she doesn't bring another child into this world that she can't take care of. No child deserves to be born into illness and chaos. All we can do at this point is think of whether or not we would be willing to take the baby if it turns out she is pregnant. And, to be honest at this point as much as it saddens me to say, I don't think we could do it. I guess we will wait and see, only time will tell!

New Years, New Adventures!

I am really excited for this new year! Every single wish we had for 2012 came true! Just 3 weeks into the year we were matched with our daughters, and less than 2 weeks before it ended we finalized their adoptions! I'm not sure you can really ask for more! We spent a quiet night at home with the kids last night & just enjoyed our little family. I thought I would share a couple videos, the first one Delilah had found a cake on the dining room table & decided to help herself to it by pulling it off onto the floor & eating it.

Daddy got her & cleaned her up. I guess my scolding wasn't enough, because 5 minutes later I look over to find her sitting on TOP of the table helping herself to some cupcakes. My favorite part is how when Daddy asks her if she really wanted them, she babbles, points to them, then nods "yes"!

This week the bigger 2 kids started gymnastics. Tuck took gymnastics before for over 2 years. He stopped taking classes because he was bored in the small section & isn't allowed on the main gym floor until he was 6. Though he turned 6 this summer, Everly wanted to take a class also, and the only class they have at the same time as Tucks class was for 3 year olds. So I waited until she was 3 so her & Tuck could take class at the same time, our schedule is just so crazy getting 2 kids to class at 2 seperate times just wasn't possible. Tuck really enjoyed being on the BIG floor & he did really well. Everly LOVED her class also. She has the little gymnast build and can be very fearless about things like that.

In other news Everly's 3rd birthday is this week & we are having a party on Sunday. She asked for a Lalaloopsy party & I happily obliged. I have a feeling she hasn't had a birthday party before, her first birthday she was in her biological families home & I seriously doubt they did that for her. Last year she was in a previous foster home. Her birthday was 2 weeks before they disrupted due to divorce & when I got the few photos they had from her time there, her Birthday wasn't in any of the photos. So to say we went a little over the top is an understatement! I've spent my whole Christmas break from work making decorations, favors, her skirt, her headband ordering & organizing! I want her to really enjoy herself & remember this Birthday! I will do a blog post full of photos etc of the party! Last year I had a resolution to purge the negative people from my life for good & I feel that I was able to achieve that. Negative & judgmental people are like the bad apple in the bunch, it spoils everyone! I've realized some people can't be happy for others because they aren't happy with themselves. I hope for this reason I teach my kids to be happy with who they are & what they are & to appreciate those things in others. I hope everyone has a blessed year for 2013. I am excited to see what this year has in store for our family!

Christmas Time.....

So here is a picture from the courthouse when we finalized the girl's adoptions! It was such a great day! One of the other things we had REALLY wanted to do & haven't been able to is pierce the girls' ears! I had mine done as a baby & I think the younger the better. So as soon as we left the courthouse we headed to get their ears pierced! Both of the girls did really well. Everly was surprised by the first one, but she REALLY wanted it so she held still & let them do the second one. Delilah cried, but only because she was MAD! Also I had custom  shirts made for all 3 kids, they came out really adorable & we got TONS of compliments on them, I ordered them from The Lion & The Unicorn.

 

We barely had time to let the adoption sink in & Christmas was here! The kids were so excited & it was a really special day. We got up early & opened presents. We had a great lunch & then we took a 3 hour nap! It was amazing! You can't tell from the picture below, but the kids were excited.... Just not excited to take a picture!!

In the pictures below Lyla was devastated I took her new baby from her so Daddy could cut it out of the plastic. Then the world was right again because Daddy gave it back!

Everly really "got" Christmas this year! She was so excited to open gifts, she even climbed on top of them! She was a beast!

Tuck obviously gets Christmas! We got him a Kindle Fire & he really loved it! I know a lot of people think its crazy for a 6 year old to own a tablet but it costs the same as a Nintendo DS & the games are cheaper! He can also have books & kids magazines to read all the time!

Overall it was a really great day. I'm not sure it has all sunk in really, its just been such a long road! We're just really enjoying these days!