In The New Year...

I am so excited to be entering into a new year! The new year is a symbol of a fresh start & a new beginning. I'm looking forward to continuing to simplify our lives. Getting rid of the negative, unnecessary & excess is liberating & leaves me feeling so light. Focusing on the positive things in our lives like our family & kids is the goal for 2012. The older I get the more I'm grateful for never changing who I am or letting the opinions of others influence me, my relationships, my life or my heart. Surrounding yourself with people who accept you for who you are is what life is made of & I hope I continue to be able to instill this is my children. I hope to raise a child that is tolerant & kind even of those who's lives & beliefs he may not agree with or understand. Being grateful to God everyday for showing me how to purge my life of things that are toxic & move on to BETTER things is just one of my new years resolutions. I am excited to go into this year with wide eyes & an open heart for whatever it is that God has in store for me & our growing family. On a side note some blog changes for 2012, I love the way blogger lets us see who is reading our blogs. Its very interesting to see where everyone is located, how you got to my blog, etc so for now I am staying on Blogger. Because of how well the blog has been going I have recently acquired http://www.crazychaosperfect.com/, which will link you back here to for now but in the future may host the main website as Blogger has limited hosting capabilities. I have also been busy getting a facebook page & other loose ends tied up for the site. I never thought the blog would do so well & I feel very blessed to be able to share the story of our journey & I love hearing from you guys about yours too. I hope it may bring some of you guys traveling this CRAZY road just a little bit of comfort knowing your story is just like ours. I know for me the last time we went through this, talking to other adoptive mommies kept me sane.

Face Sheets & Family Albums

 

Once we got approved we are now scheduled for our "adoption matching orientation". This is when we go down to our agency & meet the matching coordinators face to face. I think this is so great & really important, after all these people will be deciding if your home matches the needs of a child. Their job is to find that perfect "match". If you've read some of my previous posts you will know, this can be very difficult. They have to analyze your personalities, your wants & needs as well as what you can handle & then find a child that meets all of those things. To me this meeting is more than just a "face to face" or putting a "face to a name", it is an opportunity for you to ask all the questions you have & for this team to get an idea of your whole essence & soul in once single visit (no pressure). When we go down for our meeting we will bring along our "face sheets" & our "family album". Face Sheets are basically 1 page summary of your life. They usually include photos with a small bio about everyone in the family as well as a little bit about what type of child you want to adopt & what your family style is. This is usually the VERY first thing a child's case worker sees when you submit your home study. The family album stays at the agency & when you get matched it is given to the child to help make them more comfortable with you & your house etc. Inside the album is photos of our home, our friends & family as well as us doing many of the things we love! Interested in what our Face Sheet looks like? Well scroll on down!! I have been debating for a couple of days whether or not to show our actual face sheet, but I think the point of the blog is to be open & educational, so I hope it helps. (Again I have left out parts of our info, also it was a little neater before I formatted it to fit here, also you can click it to make it larger).

The Reason for the Season...

The Christmas seasons has always been one of my favorites. There is something about the lights, the trees, the family & the music that really gets to me. As I've gotten older the true impact of what this Holiday means has really hit home. Having brought Tuck home the week before Thanksgiving made the holidays so much sweeter. I hope our son has amazing warm memories of this time of year. Not necessarily about the gifts but of our amazing family & the support system that he has growing up. We aren't a perfect family by any means, we fight & annoy each other but that's a REAL family. I would rather argue it out & know our family is the real deal than to pretend to be something we will never be. I hope our son sees that we may not be perfect but we're in it together & for the long haul. Every year during this time I really worry for Tuck's 3 siblings & what their lives might be like now. Knowing that none of them were adopted, yet stayed in their biological families & then made their way to various friends & homes it makes me very worried knowing all the siblings are growing up without each other. I pray one day if our son meets them, they too knew a childhood filled with happiness & amazing holidays. Another thing that I try to remember during this time of year is the reason we have to celebrate. I don't know where I would be without the power of God in my life. He has never given me more than I could handle & looking back I am grateful for every rocky road he has made me weather. It has made me a better person, a better mother & has strengthened my relationship with my amazing husband. The power God has in our lives never ceases to amaze me. Though I am terrified for what the upcoming year could mean for our family & the rollarcoaster that awaits us,I know the path He has planned will lead us to where we are supposed to be. No one has ever said this journey was easy & I should know by know that it's true, but we're optimistic about what the future holds.

Was all that work for this??

Well we just got our "license" in. In case you're wondering this is what it looks like. Its kinda like graduating from high school or college, all that work for a piece of paper? But after all these months, I was happy to see it in the mail & its kinda made my day. The only thing is I was a bit surprised to see the TWO children portion, seeing as we have only said we want one.  Even though we got approved on Friday we haven't heard anything from anyone except our compliance specialist. A compliance specialist is an employee of our agency. From what I gather their sole purpose to to make sure foster homes are keeping up with the requirements of TDFPS. On a side note, one of the main reasons we decided to use an agency rather than go straight with CPS is simple, turnover as well as the personal attention. CPS had a 25% turnover rate for case workers last year. That is appalling. When we were with our agency last time we worked with them for nearly 2 years & during that time not a SINGLE person we encountered quit or left. In fact we worked with the same exact people this time as during our adoption in 2008. We had the same recruiter, the same home study worker etc.This time around we've been working with them since April & we just had our first person quit.  We found out recently that the home study supervisor we had been working with left her position. There are a few other reasons that we have gone with an agency but it is all a personal preference. I know other people that have gone straight via CPS & have had great experiences because they say it cuts out the "middle man". But in all honesty, you aren't working with MORE just different people. You are working with YOUR case worker with your agency rather than a CPS case worker, there aren't 2 sets of workers. Another myth is the old "cps keeps all the "good" kids for their families". I don't know how to respond to that except to say, I've done this once before, I've applied for dozens of "good" kids. Agencies don't just get CPS scraps, their families get the same shot at the same kids as CPS families. If you do some research on how children are broadcast & matched you will quickly realize why this is ridiculous & unfounded. Another reason used an agency is its no surprise that CPS is overwhelmed & under staffed. I would think this is the number one reason so many case workers quit. Our agency has always gone above & beyond, not only for us but for the kids. They hold parent retreats, summer camps for the kids, BBQ's for the families, a Holiday party for all the foster kids, they give out football tickets, they have on site counselors & I could go on & on. I know many people think these events are frivolous but it gives adoptive & foster children the chance to be around kids like themselves without the judgment that they can often get from their peers. Please note this is just my experience with CPS vs. Agencies & my personal preference. Please don't message me your personal "agency" horror stories. There are bad experiences on BOTH sides of the fence. I would just say for families to research, research, research. (The photo above has been edited to protect the innocent. Well for privacy reasons)

Its Official...

  It is official, we got word today we are licensed & open for placements. This is probably the most exciting part of the process, minus actually having your match. There really isn't really going to be much going on at this point except us apply for kids. Applying for kids is basically when CPS has a child that needs a family they send out a "broadcast" or a short bio of the child & their needs, to all the agencies requesting families to be submitted. At this point our agency looks & sees if the child meets our criteria, if they do they agency forwards the broadcast on to us where we read the little bio & decide if we want them to submit our home study. So at this point, though its exciting there isn't going to much action, we pretty much just hurry up & wait. I will try to post updates about how many children we are applying for etc. Because of privacy I can't be very specific but I will try & give an idea of what kind of traffic we are seeing. Can I also just say I have a new found respect for foster parents, because the paperwork & red tape in this process is insane. (To be totally honest I have had this typed up & ready to post for awhile!). The above photo is Tuck on Thanksgiving.

Tis The Season.....

   One thing I have noticed pretty consistently is how difficult this time of year is on waiting families. There is something about having "a baby by Christmas" that seems to consume your soul when you are in this process. With our son, we were in October, & we were giving up hope on being matched by Christmas. I had saved up ALL my vacation & time off the whole year, in hopes of using it when we got matched. Finally I had to admit it wasn't going to happen & take a week off. Sure enough the first day of my vacation I find out we were selected as a top 4 family on a little boy, and 3 days later we were selected! He was home the Sunday before Thanksgiving. Isn't that the way it always works? Though we are settled on the fact that we won't have our daughter by Christmas, it is still a difficult time. We remember Thanksgiving as being such a happy time & its when we really became a family. I am also feeling a little bittersweet about Christmas this year as its probably the last where he is an only child & I want those memories to be sweet. We hope that this upcoming year fulfills our dreams of having a daughter, but even if it doesn't, Christmas is such a special time of year for us and our son. ( The picture above is Tuck holding his Daddy's hand at the Alley Theater waiting to see a production of A Christmas Carol, it was his first live theater show & he loved it!).