The rocky road to parenthood....

     Five years into our marriage the REAL journey to become parents started. We did tons of research & decided on a local adoption agency with a great reputation for placing children from DFPS. We went through 60+ hours of training on every topic from psychotropic medications, discipline, bonding & the dreaded sexual abuse (many people had trouble making it through this class). We heard stories and met children that had been through abuse and things that would make the strongest adult crumble. There are few experiences that really shake your soul and on our day of physical abuse class I experienced that for the first time. A couple came in with their 2 foster daughters, with the intent of showing the class how a healthy family can help a child overcome abuse. This was also to show us what we were in for, this is where they separate the boys from the men. Though both girls had been through sexual abuse it was the older of the 2 girls that endured the worst. She was about 4-5 and had the biggest brown eyes, brown hair & a big smile. I still remember her name but won't share that for privacy reasons. When they arrived in class she had both arms in casts to her elbows. Of course we assumed this was abuse but she would have been lucky to have just suffered broken arms. After their
"foster" Mom led the girls from the room their "foster" Dad began to tell us her story. She was taken from her biological mom the previous year, where they lived with her moms boyfriend. After the investigation it was determined her mothers boyfriend had set her on fire. Her arms were in casts after surgery to correct the 3rd degree burns that started at her arms & extended onto her lower body. She had lost many of her fingers and had been through many surgeries. I will never forget this little girl as long as I live. The hardest thing about this process is knowing that my daughter or my son may have a story like hers to tell. I remember thinking how blessed she was to have her foster family that was fighting to adopt her. But after adopting my son I realize that her foster family are the lucky ones. This little girl teaches her parents every day what a family can do to change the life and future of a child in foster care. Without her, they were just ordinary people, but the journey they took with her made them extraordinary.You can't "save" children. You can't adopt to "save" a child. You adopt for one reason & that is to be a parent. At this point, though terrified, I knew we were where we belonged! We endured all the training then our Homestudy began. It was 2 days long & we were asked our opinions on everything from sex to plastic surgery. In the end, after 8 months of training and classes we got the news we had been waiting for, we were Licensed & official waiting!