Since things are incredibly slow on the home front I thought I would do a little bit on one area of the adoption process that seems to make people freeze in terror, the HOME STUDY. I will only be referencing this for a home study intended for DPFS or foster children since that is what I have experience in, I can't speak for home studies for private adoptions. Basically this is when a social worker comes to your home & interviews you about your lives, lifestyle & hopes for adoption. What this does is gives the workers an idea of who you are, your strengths as a parent & how a child will fit into your life. They want to know who you are as people & as a family. Knowing these things helps workers make sure the child you are matched with works for you. If you are a clean freak & super organized, having a child that is a free spirit might make you nuts. Likewise, if you are outgoing & love to do new things & travel quite a bit, a child that is a homebody or anxious with new places won't be a good fit. Remember that you have to be a "fit", some people wonder why they wait for a child when there are so many children in foster care & this is the reason why. These aren't puppies at a shelter, you have to be compatible & realistic. I think if more people were open & honest about their expectations or fears & hid less during their home study, there would be far fewer disruptions in adoption (disruptions are when a child doesn't work out & the adoptive family gives them up). By being realistic I mean you can't say you want a 4-8 year old, then send them back after 3-4 months because they lie, won't hug you, throw fits etc. I will do a blog post on disruptions at a later date because it is a very sad reality of adoptions. Some of the things the workers go into are your childhood, how you were raised & your relationships with your family members. I think the most important thing to do is just be honest & tell the truth. I would not attempt to sugar coat your life in anyway, this can come back to bite you later. They know everyone has fights, every couple bickers and we all have a past. The other point I hear quite a bit is, how clean in clean enough. I don't know how to answer this except to say, if your home is so clean you can eat off the floors, how welcoming is that to a toddler? Just try to be who you are, and be honest with the workers.
