Black Friday?, No, Gray Thursday....

I really hate to call it Black Friday. By Friday I was sleeping in my bed at home, shopping all done! We ALWAYS hit up Toys'R'Us. They have the best deals around and are always very organized. They only allow in a certain number of people & regulate the flow in according to how many people leave. This way it never gets too crowded. They also always have tons of the sale items. This year we had the biggest list EVER! We have a very strategic plan going in. We use those little sticky flags to mark all the pages in the ad we need toys from, then we circle all the toys on that page along with how many we need of each. We always bring someone just to stay with the cart (this year my 15 year old brother got that job), that way we can run & grab things & just throw them in the cart & go back out. Once we got an item we marked it out in the ad & removed the flag. This year went really well. We got there about 4:45, I took this photo when we first arrived.

By the time the store opened at 8 the line was around the side of the building & well around the back & cars were still POURING in. You can always tell the people who haven't come out before by their face, utter shock & disbelief at the line! It was really tame & everyone was really polite, no pushing or anything.

We got inside with the first batch of people. We were able to get all of the items at the top of our list. The only things we didn't get were things that were VERY last and they only had a few of them to begin with! We got to checkout within 35 minutes. By 9, we were through the checkout & on our way to the car! This is what our car looked like, the seats were folded down & it was full all the way to the front seats! There was LOTS of pink this year!

 

This left the most interesting subject of where to HIDE all this stuff! We have a storage unit, so it will probably get moved there but for now we couldn't leave it in the car, so it ended up in our master bath. The kids NEVER go in our bathroom, and even if they do, they would never move back the shower curtain. The shopping was a huge success. We saved over 60% & got the kids pretty much everything for Christmas. We usually buy one large gift, or two smaller gifts that are from Santa. We also usually give the kids 3 decent sized gifts from us, just like the wise men gave baby Jesus. Also, we do a couple of smaller stocking stuffer type gifts or smaller presents from Santa. We didn't really try to spend the same amount of money on each child, its pointless. With our son being so much older, his gifts are just more costly, hands down.

Tomorrow we will decorate the house & buy our Christmas tree. We decided to change our decorations & really go with a traditional Christmas this year. We have a tradition in our family where we rotate who hosts. The rule is, if someone has a new baby, they automatically get Christmas for that year. So we get Christmas this year & we really wanted our kids to have a traditional, timeless Christmas the first year we were together as a family! We are now just 3 1/2 weeks away from finalizing, but who's counting? There is really NOTHING going on. We don't have anything to do at all, it is VERY weird to just be patiently waiting on December 18th. I know it doesn't seem like long, but it is CRAWLING by, every day is just killing me! Also, in other news, I asked my lovely husband to do a guest post of my blog! Hopefully the next post will be written by him, so check back next week for that one! If you have any topics you would like to hear from a mans point of view, feel free to leave a comment!

The New Normal....

   So we are just a few days away from Thanksgiving, and it will officially be the start of our first Holiday season with our girls! This time of year will be special because we are finalizing our daughters' adoptions, but also because it was the same time of year we brought our son home. Our son came home the weekend before Thanksgiving 4 years ago. He will always hold a most special place in my heart. He was my first baby, my oldest, my son, the one who made me a Mommy my husband a Daddy, and he made us a family. He will forever be my little ladies' big brother. He will be the one to protect them, the one to show them how to get their way with us and the one to watch over them hopefully long after we're gone. He will be the first of my kids to learn to drive, and the first to go to college. I can't imagine any other child having been my oldest baby but him. Out of all the families out there I can't believe he came to us. He spoke only Spanish & we didn't speak any! He was used to having lots of siblings, and he wouldn't have any. A million little miracles brought us together all those years ago. I don't know how, or why, I just know it was perfect. A few weeks ago we went to a ranch by our house & the older kids did the zip line. Tuck was afraid so Sissy went first, she's fearless! After she went, he couldn't be shown up, so he went! The kids had lots of fun feeding the animals and playing on the ranch. Also my favorite holiday is coming up, no, not Thanksgiving, Black Friday. No, I don't go to wal-mart. The way they handle Black Friday is dangerous & ridiculous. I refuse to give them a penny of my business. I always go to Toys'R'Us. They regulate the line in & out and always have PLENTY of the advertised items. They also hand out coupons for all the big ticket items. They start at the beginning of the line & ask if you want that item, if so you get a coupon, if not they go to the next person, and when they run out of coupons, that's it. There is no fighting. The worst part is just waiting in the lines. But we have 3 kids to shop for now, plus my niece & my nephew. We usually save about 60-70% on the items we buy that day, so its worth the few hours of waiting outside. I'll do a little post with some photos of the madness out there!

A Little Adult Time....

              For the last 10 months we haven't really been out without the kids. We really aren't allowed to leave the girls with anyone that isn't a licensed caregiver, so going out after work or after daycare hours was pretty much impossible. Now that we're an adoptive placement we are able to leave them with any of our "frequent visitors" that underwent a background check in the beginning of this process. I planned a little night out as a surprise for my wonderful husband. We went out with our closest couple friends & had a great time. We went to a place in Houston called Prohibition. They are a speakeasy type of club & have a great burlesque show on Friday & Saturday nights. The club itself has a great vibe & the show was really first class. It was really nice to spend a little time just the two of us again! We're very excited about the upcoming holidays. We consider Christmas a big deal in our house & there's always LOTS of fun going on. The other night as we all sat around the table eating dinner I asked the kids what they wanted Santa to bring them. Tuck said he wanted a game system, when I reminded him Santa brought him an X Box 360 last year & he never plays it, he said he wants new games for it. So I asked Sissy what she wanted Santa to bring her & she just looked at me a little crazy. So I asked what kind of presents she wanted, and she just repeated she wanted presents. I realized there's a very good chance she never had an opportunity to pick a gift or celebrate a birthday, that she can remember. When we were given photos of her from her previous foster home where she spent her 2nd birthday, there weren't any of her birthday or the girls opening presents at Christmas. So I asked what type of presents, then she got it & said "I want a kitchen, and food, and to bake cookies and a kitchen!". I instantly realized what she was talking about, about a month ago I was at a children's resale store & they had a gorgeous 3 piece solid wood toy kitchen set, it had the little sink, the stove & a mini fridge. It was made by Pottery Barn, and baby pink, in a 50's theme. Sissy sat & played with it & begged me to buy it, "Please mommy! I want to make cookies, please, please Mommy!". I can't believe we didn't leave with it right then but it was HUGE & we have no where to put it, not to mention it was $200! So this year for Christmas I have a feeling Santa will be bringing her a little kitchen. As far as the adoption goes, it looks like we will be finalizing this year! We have a court date of December 18th to finalize. This road has been so rocky, so tough, and so rewarding. Everyday I debate whether we can EVER do this again. Could we tempt fate and try for a fourth? Right now I don't think I could. But when I watch my babies play together, or just listen to the 3 of them giggle & laugh hysterically together in the next room, I can't imagine not being a Mommy another time. When I watch my husband play with our kids or them run to him when he gets home from work, I can't imagine him never being a Daddy again either. I guess time will tell. We've decided to leave our license open, but inactive, for one year. If no biological siblings come into custody we will close our home. I think we have a great balance right now, but as far as more kids in the future, never say never! Our hearts will always be open to what God has in store for us. We have trusted him with our whole hearts this whole journey and he hasn't steered us wrong.

Today was the day......

     Today was the day! We finally signed adoptive placement paperwork for the girls! Their redacted file came in on Halloween & we read it over the weekend. I won't go into details because I think they're private but I was very surprised. We were under the impression our older girl was removed because of general neglect, not straight physical abuse. We were wrong. Apparently she was removed for significant physical & emotional abuse at the hands of her biological mother. The baby was removed at birth due to drug exposure & that fact her sister was already in custody. For the last 10 months I felt a little bitter sweet for the girls' biological family. I felt sorry for them, I mean their parents were both raised by abusive drug addicts themselves & just repeated the pattern. I felt sorry for their extended family, it wasn't THEIR fault the girls' parents were addicts & they ended up losing their nieces, granddaughters, cousins etc. But after reading their file & waiting the last 10 months, I still feel sorry for them, but I'm starting to realize we deserve this. Their biological family could have stepped up, they could have fought for the girls,but they didn't. We did. We fought for them, we advocated for them, we put our lives on hold for them, we worked through their emotional problems, we did the visits, took the classes & made the sacrifice, we took the biggest risk of our lives & our son's young life. If they wanted what we have now, they should have fought for the girls like we did. We deserve this, our family deserves this & most important, our GIRLS deserve this. They deserve a family that will always be there to fight for them. So I just hope I can stop myself from letting my sympathy for them overshadow the happiest time in our lives.  This was the last BIG step before we finalize. We should still have time to finalize this year. Our attorney is ready with the paperwork & assuming the court can get their end completed in time, we should be completely final before Christmas. (The photo above is our pack heading out to trick or treat, Sissy was a witch, Dee was a ladybug & Tuck was an alien!).

Some Bumps.....

Well....things aren't going quite as planned. We found out late last week that we are not going to be allowed to sign the waiver for reading the girls' redacted files. Apparently only relative or kinship placements are allowed to waive their rights to read the file. We have to wait for the file to come in. So at this point we are at a standstill until the file gets in & we can get down to the CPS office to read it. Everything else we need to complete has been done & everyone is waiting on the word that this has been completed, then we will sign our placement paperwork & our attorney will file the petitions. So, I guess its just a little more wait & see. All 3 kids are doing really well. They are looking forward to Halloween this week (well not D as much as Tuck & Sissy).The baby is finally old enough to really sit in the room with the bigger kids & play with what they're playing with & she is really happy about it! (The photo above is Tuck & Sissy, this is what happens late at night at Walmart).

New Things.....

     I really wish I could blog a little more often than I have been! I always swear I'm going to do updates weekly, next thing I know its been a month or so. At this point the girls have been home just a few days shy of 9 months. There are a lot of changes coming up. We have set the date to sign our adoptive placement paperwork! We are scheduled to sign on Halloween. We're very excited because as soon as we sign those our attorney will file the documents with the court so we can finalize on December 18th, one week before Christmas. There were 3 things we needed to do before we could sign the placement paperwork. One of them was to negotiate subsidy. We got those documents turned in & they have been accepted & should be coming to us in the mail any day. The other thing we were waiting on was the girls' developmental assessments. I took the girls for these this past week. The process they use is very interesting, they do things like see if the baby can stack blocks when prompted, or get a raisin from a jar with a narrow opening (too narrow to put a finger in). For Sissy they asked her questions like "what do you do when you're hungry?", or "what do you do with a bed?". They also did physical tests to see their motor skills etc. Both girls were well above their target levels (which I expected). The last thing we are waiting on that is NOT done yet is reading the girls' de-identified files. They requested redacted copies of the case file last month but it still hasn't come in. If we do not get this in before Halloween we have to either put off signing the placement paperwork which means we likely won't finalize this year, or we have to sign a waiver saying we agreed not to read the file before the placement. At this point there is nothing in the file that would change our minds so we would gladly sign the waiver so we can continue the placement. The only thing that worries me is if we sign the waiver for the file they won't EVER send it to us. I really want that file for our girls. It tells them the story of their life from a third party, not us and not their biological family. I want them to read what the state said happened, not what we TOLD them happened. If they ever find their biological family, I want to prepare them with the facts of their actions. They deserve it. I also took Sissy to see the ballet today. I think she liked it, she behaved very well & I couldn't have asked for her to act more "proper" at 2 years old. A couple of other things is I recently got a new job (I know, again!). The school I started out at the beginning of the year was an hour drive away & didn't have the training & room for advancement I had hoped for. Next Monday I will be starting at another autism school as a behavior therapist in their ABA program. Its a great position with an amazing structured training program to help me progress in my therapist levels. (The picture above is Daddy painting D's nails & then playing Hide & Seek with Sissy. )

Signing on the dotted line....

   Things have changed so much and then again they haven't. We have been getting everything lined up to signed the adoption paperwork for the girls. The documents we signed previously were just for foster & these will state our intent to adopt with the court. There are a few things we still have to do before we can sign the adoption placement paperwork. One of the things we have to do is take the girls in for their psychological evaluations. We have those scheduled for next week. We also still need to read the girls' file & negotiate subsidy. Our case worker is confident we will get it all done in the next 2 weeks so we are set to sign the paperwork on October 31st. They usually try to change the placement types on the last day of the month for accounting purposes. This way starting November 1st we would get adoption subsidy instead of foster stipend etc. As soon as we sign the paperwork our attorney will file the documents to finalize with the court. He said we should finalize at the December 18th court date already set up for adoptions. October 31st was pretty much the last date to sign our paperwork & still be able to finalize this year! We are so excited to introduce our girls to the world and get on with living happily ever after with our two little princesses.