So Much More..

 The reason for today's post is simple, I've always been very careful about sharing the kid's "stories". Basically their history, their abuse, their neglect. I feel like a lot of that is THEIR story, not mine. It isn't mine to tell. I still feel that way very much. But over the last 3 years our son has a new story with us that has been so challenging. Tuck was always a blissful, happy & free spirited kid. Since the day we met him his smile could light up a room & his love for life was infectious. The first signs something was wrong was when he was 3. We noticed he was very methodical in things he did. Primarily in the way of counting, when he washed his hands, when he did certain things, he counted (usually to 7). If he became interrupted he would start over & repeat the process again. We immediately started interrupting the behaviors &  distracted him with conversations etc. Deep down now I know he still probably did those things, just in his head. Tucker's first year of school in pre-k went great. He was happy & well behaved. He never had anything I would consider an "issue". But slowly over the last 3 years he has struggled with his behavior. He would do crazy things, like throwing stuff or screaming, that were so unlike him. My happy joyful baby changed. His smile wasn't as bright, his personality just wasn't the same. It happened slowly, almost without being noticed. Last year we started noticing new things, like his "heart beeping too fast", and him not being able to catch his breath. My heart was breaking for him. We had reached out to his pediatrician over & over but were told it was his age he would outgrow it. But when I watch my son cry in fear because his heart is pounding or he can't breathe, I KNOW something is wrong. During all of this we have also struggled with his school. They were unable or unwilling to place him with a teacher that would satisfy what I felt was a level of consistency in THEIR behavior, that made me confident that the issue was HIS behavior. Finally after 3 teachers this school year alone he was placed with a wonderful teacher who did everything she could to help him. She communicated with us on a daily basis, she was consistent with reinforcement & discipline at school & most importantly she brought us to the point that we felt we had done EVERYTHING we could do to help our son, without medication.  All of these signs pointed to an impulse control issue, and it was confirmed by a NEW pediatrician. We did recently put Tuck on medication to help him, and things have been so amazing. The very first day he was on it, we noticed such a HUGE difference in him. As the days went by we realized how much of our son had slipped away! I know you're thinking, how did it go on so long? It happens slowly, and you start to forget what the old child used to be like. Most importantly I have seen my happy confident son come back. His anxiety is gone & he is PROUD of himself again. So often people think parents medicate their kids to make their own lives easier. I didn't put my son on medication to make MY life easier. I did it to make HIS life happier. He is no longer anxious about trying so hard to be good at school, even though its beyond his control. He likes going to school, his grades are improving & most important, HE is happier.

One year!!

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the girl's adoptions! I remember us white knuckling it to that day swearing we would NEVER do it again. The stress, appointments, not knowing & tears were exhausting. As a family we were so tired & worn out from the 11 months from their placement until adoption day. But a year later we have settled into a "normal" life & those days are fading away. I would love to adopt again one day, another boy. I think it's much like child birth, you forget the pain & suffering, God gives you that power. Slowly I feel that power of forgetting creep into our lives. I'm grateful for it in many ways but I also hate it. I kinda wish I still remembered what that struggle was like when it was fresh, it would make some upcoming decisions so much easier. But, the reality is I mainly remember the good things. That day last year when we were all done & it was over. That relief & the days that have followed that have been filled with laughter, fun, games, giggling & tons of amazing memories. We have 3 amazing kids & though I know we worked so hard for it, it all seems so easy!

We took the kids for frozen yogurt to celebrate the girls gotcha day!

Our follow up..

Yesterday Delilah had her appointment with the gastroenterologist to see what he thought about the coin. He says he thinks it's a quarter too & he doubts it will be moving so we need to take it out. We are scheduled to go Texas Childrens Hospital on the 23rd to have the coin removed. It is an outpatient procedure & we should be able to go home that evening. We aren't happy about it but we know she needs it & we are really ready to get it over with. 

No action!

I forgot to post this photo! We recently took all the kids to Disney On Ice, Tuck had been but the girls never had. We made the kids all custom shirts with their names & favorite Disney character. I made the girls into dresses for them! We also made the kids each a gift bag to take with us. Their bags included their outfits, a matching plush doll to their shirts, boxes of candy & those spinning light toys they sell at the show for $22!! I was able to get everything for all their bags for under $30, so it saved us a ton of begging and money when we got to the show! The kids all had a great time!

We are still waiting for some coin movement around here! Our pediatrician asked us to come in Monday morning for a follow up & then she sent us for more X-rays to see of the coin had moved. We went & did the X-rays only to get a call an hour layer saying we needed to go back for more because they couldn't tell if the coin was in her colon or in the stomach. The next X-rays showed that the coin is still in the stomach, which isn't good. At this point it looks like it is stuck in the stomach & it will have to be removed. Our pediatrician reddered us to a GI, so we will be going there Friday morning to see what they think we should do about it. 

Still waiting

We are still waiting for that coin to pass. We went for our follow up X-ray Thursday & it is still right inside the stomach. So when I talked to her pediatrician yesterday she was a little concerned. The coin should have moved out within hours & it appears to be stuck. For the last week I've been digging in poop for NO reason. We are going back in Monday morning for another exam & X-ray. If it is still in the stomach she is sending us to the GI doctor we saw in the ER to see about having it taken out. the good news is she is I'm good spirits & doesn't seem any worse for wear! She's my same old, wild & crazy baby! I would also like to take this opportunity to congratulate little Delilah on getting potty trained! She's 29 months & totally done with no accidents even at night!! Such a huge accomplishment for her! 

Our favorite!

This is hands down my favorite time of the year. We spent this week getting our tree set up & decorating for Christmas. Delilah is really "getting" it this year & is so excited! 

This is a picture from Thanksgiving. The kids really didn't care about that at all! Haha, there's nothing exciting about eating turkey is there?  Other than that we are patiently waiting on Peanut to poop out that coin! We went today for a follow up X-ray to see if it came out, & it's still in there! I am waiting on her pediatrician to call me tomorrow to see what she wants to do! I will keep everyone updated! 

So close..

I debated whether to share the events of yesterday with everyone but I thought I would in hopes it may encourage someone to get CPR & 1st Aid certified. Yesterday Delilah choked & swallowed 2 coins. I'll try to make it as short as possible as this is NOT my proudest moment as a mother. Chris left for work early & Delilah climbed in my bed to watch cartoons. I got up to use the bathroom & came out just in time to hear the clink of 2 coins in her mouth. Before I could get the 5 feet from the bathroom door to her, she inhaled sucking them both into her throat. The first one went down into her esophagus & the other, a penny, immediately stuck in her airway blocking all air. I grabbed her by her arm & pulled her into a standing position so I could attempt to get it out. My 16 year old brother was asleep on the couch & I tried 2-3 times to yell for him to call 911 because I wanted them on the way in case I wasn't able to get it out, but I just couldn't seem to get the words out loud enough, no matter how much I tried. I decided to attempt to get the coin out first rather than run to get him. The first two times I attempted the heimlich it wouldn't budge. Her airway was completely blocked so the 3rd time I tried even harder & was able to get the penny to pop out. Let me say I've taken the class at least 3 times & it was still VERY difficult to get it correct! It was very hard to remember how to position myself & how to grab her. My first reaction was still to grab her & flip her over & use my finger to scoop it out. I knew the other coin had gone down her airway so I went into the living room & had my brother call 911 while I kept an eye on the baby & put on pants (hey I just woke up give me a break). It took an ambulance 14 minutes to get here & while we waited I put on actual clothes & called Chris in case we needed to be transported. The EMTs did come out & looked the baby over. She wa acting OK & didn't seem to be uncomfortable so they, like I did, assumed she swallowed the other coin & was fine. About 15 minutes after they left she started to grab at her chest & cry. She kept telling me "owww" and scratching at her chest area. I grabbed her & rushed her to the nearest ER which happens to be a stand alone ER. At first they said she seemed fine & they doubted it was stuck in her airway because she was breathing alright. I called Chris while we were waiting & he could hear her cries & like me, knew something was wrong. He left work to go home & come meet us. As time went on she became more & more inconsolable & they rushed us back for an X-ray. Within a minute of leaving the room they came back to tell me to try & keep her calm that the coin was lodged either in her esophagus or in one of her bronchial tubes leading to her lungs. They immediately started calling hospitals to get us transfered out for surgery. I immediatly texted Chris what was going on & asked him to pack us overnight bags before he came to meet us. The hospital really wanted to send us to a Texas Childrens branch & after about 30 minutes a Dr at their main campus accepted her as a patient & they sent an ambulance to pick us up. Chris was able to get to the ER where we were in time & followed us to Texas Childrens because I rode with her in the ambulance. As soon as we got there they took us in & had a room waiting. Within 3 minutes a nurse came in to tell the Dr that the OR was calling down for her & they were prepped. The Dr wanted to do one more X-ray before we went to surgery to be sure of the coin placement & to verify herself it was located in the esophagus not the bronchial tube. They were able to see right away that at some point the coin had become dislodged & slipped into her stomach. It was such a huge relief because she wouldn't need surgery we just needed to wait for her to pass it. So we did get to come home last night & we are patiently waiting for her to pass the coin which may or may not be a quarter. We do have to go back for an X-ray this upcoming week to verify if she has passed the coin. 

She was very happy when she got permission to eat & drink! It was after 3 & the poor thing hadn't eaten or drank all day & neither had I. Today she is better but still seems a little worn out from the drama of yesterday's events. It can happen SO fast, you can't depend on 911 to get there in time to save your child. I get sick when I think what would have happened in those 14 minutes had I not been able to get the penny out! Get CPR & 1st Aid certified.