The reason for today's post is simple, I've always been very careful about sharing the kid's "stories". Basically their history, their abuse, their neglect. I feel like a lot of that is THEIR story, not mine. It isn't mine to tell. I still feel that way very much. But over the last 3 years our son has a new story with us that has been so challenging. Tuck was always a blissful, happy & free spirited kid. Since the day we met him his smile could light up a room & his love for life was infectious. The first signs something was wrong was when he was 3. We noticed he was very methodical in things he did. Primarily in the way of counting, when he washed his hands, when he did certain things, he counted (usually to 7). If he became interrupted he would start over & repeat the process again. We immediately started interrupting the behaviors & distracted him with conversations etc. Deep down now I know he still probably did those things, just in his head. Tucker's first year of school in pre-k went great. He was happy & well behaved. He never had anything I would consider an "issue". But slowly over the last 3 years he has struggled with his behavior. He would do crazy things, like throwing stuff or screaming, that were so unlike him. My happy joyful baby changed. His smile wasn't as bright, his personality just wasn't the same. It happened slowly, almost without being noticed. Last year we started noticing new things, like his "heart beeping too fast", and him not being able to catch his breath. My heart was breaking for him. We had reached out to his pediatrician over & over but were told it was his age he would outgrow it. But when I watch my son cry in fear because his heart is pounding or he can't breathe, I KNOW something is wrong. During all of this we have also struggled with his school. They were unable or unwilling to place him with a teacher that would satisfy what I felt was a level of consistency in THEIR behavior, that made me confident that the issue was HIS behavior. Finally after 3 teachers this school year alone he was placed with a wonderful teacher who did everything she could to help him. She communicated with us on a daily basis, she was consistent with reinforcement & discipline at school & most importantly she brought us to the point that we felt we had done EVERYTHING we could do to help our son, without medication. All of these signs pointed to an impulse control issue, and it was confirmed by a NEW pediatrician. We did recently put Tuck on medication to help him, and things have been so amazing. The very first day he was on it, we noticed such a HUGE difference in him. As the days went by we realized how much of our son had slipped away! I know you're thinking, how did it go on so long? It happens slowly, and you start to forget what the old child used to be like. Most importantly I have seen my happy confident son come back. His anxiety is gone & he is PROUD of himself again. So often people think parents medicate their kids to make their own lives easier. I didn't put my son on medication to make MY life easier. I did it to make HIS life happier. He is no longer anxious about trying so hard to be good at school, even though its beyond his control. He likes going to school, his grades are improving & most important, HE is happier.
